What to Expect from LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy

LGBTQ+ clients often want therapists who are affirming, have cultural humility and competence, trauma-informed, without needing to be educated by the client. Finding a therapist can be hard. Finding one who embraces your identity? Even harder.

For LGBTQ+ clients, therapy should never feel like a place you have to shrink, explain yourself, or worry about microaggressions. Everyone deserves care that affirms their full identity. Here’s how to find it.

What LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapists Bring to the Table 

If you’re new to therapy, or thinking of giving it a try, it might be hard to put into words what exactly you’re looking for. Some of the most common qualities among LGBTQ+ affirming therapists include: 

• Affirmation: Not just passive acceptance, but active support and celebration of your identity. 
• Lived experience or cultural humility:  Some LGBTQ+ clients seek therapists who share aspects of their lived experience. Others look for someone who may not share their identity, but who demonstrates genuine cultural humility, or curiosity about their identity, without putting the burden of education on the client.
• No assumptions: A good therapist won’t make assumptions about your gender, pronouns, relationship structure, sexuality, or life goals. They’ll ask open questions, use inclusive language, and respect how you identify. 
• Awareness of systemic stressors: LGBTQ+ affirming therapists recognize the impact of systemic discrimination, marginalization, and family rejection, and how these all impact mental health. 
• Identity exploration: An affirming therapist creates space for you to explore your identity without pressure to label it right away if that’s not what you’re ready for. 

Flags to Watch For

If you find yourself in therapy and not sure if your therapist is LGBTQ+ affirming, here are some flags that are clear signs that you are not in space where your identity is being respected and prioritized. 

• Therapists who say, “I treat everyone the same”
• Misgendering or refusal to use your pronouns
• Focus on “fixing” queerness or framing it as the root of all issues
• Silence about identity when you bring it up

If you feel erased or unheard in session, that’s not affirming care.

Questions to Ask a Potential Therapist

If you’re looking for an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist, you should ask questions before committing to working with someone. This is your care, and you’re allowed to be selective. A few questions to help you get started: 

• What experience do you have working with LGBTQ+ clients? This helps gauge whether the therapist has actual experience or simply considers themselves “open-minded.” 
• How do you support clients exploring their gender or sexuality? An LGBTQ+ affirming therapist will emphasize exploration without pressure and support your self-discovery on your own terms.
• What are your thoughts on chosen family, gender expression, and trans joy? These kinds of questions can reveal a therapist’s values and whether they hold space for LGBTQ+ identities as sources of strength, not just struggle.

Their answers should reflect humility, warmth, and alignment. A LGBTQ+ affirming therapist will be comfortable answering these and understand the reasoning behind them. 

How Spring Health Matches LGBTQ+ Clients

At Spring Health, we have therapists who identify as LGBTQ+, allies that practice cultural humility and cultural competence, and therapists who are trained in LGBTQ+ trauma and gender affirming mental health care. 

You can indicate preferences for gender, experience, or approach and we’ll match you with someone who affirms you from your first session.