How to Know if a Therapist is a Good Fit

What Does “Therapist Fit” Actually Mean?

A good fit doesn’t mean your therapist always agrees with you or avoids tough topics. A strong therapeutic relationship means you:

• Feel emotionally safe, respected, heard, and understood
• Sense they’re listening with care, not just waiting their turn to talk
• Are challenged in ways that feel supportive
• Leave sessions feeling more connected to yourself

If you often feel judged, dismissed, or like you're not being heard, that’s a red flag and it’s time to switch therapists.

Signs a Therapist Might Not Be the Right Fit

Therapy is hard work, and it’s not uncommon to feel worse before you feel better, but there’s a difference between doing the emotional work and feeling judged or a lack of chemistry. Here are some of the most common signs your therapist might not be right fit for you:

• You dread sessions or feel emotionally worse afterward (not to be confused with natural discomfort during growth)
• They’re overly directive or silent to the point of detachment
• You feel talked over, stereotyped, or like you’re “too much”
• They don’t seem to remember past details you've shared
• You mask or perform instead of showing up authentically

Sometimes this is about their therapeutic style not matching what you’re looking for. Other times, it’s deeper. If something doesn’t feel right, that’s worth paying attention to. Trusting your instincts is part of the work, and your feelings are valid. 

Questions to Ask Yourself

It’s normal to feel unsure at first, especially when you’re just starting therapy. But over time, you should begin to feel a sense of trust, understanding, and forward movement. If you’re questioning whether this therapist is right for you, take a moment to reflect on the following:

• Are we on the same page about my goals and what I want to accomplish? You and your therapist don’t need to agree on everything, but you should feel aligned in your direction and supported in what you’re working toward.
• Do I feel safe being honest in this space? Emotional safety is foundational. You should feel like you can share openly without fear of judgment, dismissal, or being misunderstood.
• Do I feel seen, not just analyzed? A good therapist doesn’t just look for symptoms and a diagnosis. They see your whole self. 
• Do I feel respected in my boundaries and identity? Your therapist should honor your pace, your cultural background, and your comfort level.
• Is this therapist curious about me, or just checking boxes? You deserve a therapist who’s genuinely interested in your experience, not just following a script or rushing to figure out skills you can use.
• Does their style work for me? Every therapist has a different approach so it’s important to pay close attention to how they show up in each session. 

If the answer is “no” more often than “yes,” trust that and consider searching for a new therapist.

What if it’s just an off week?

Therapy relationships evolve and off weeks happen. Before you explore other therapist options, consider:

• Bringing it up: You can say something like: “Last session didn’t feel great. Can we talk about that?” This gives you and your therapist the opportunity to discuss why the last session didn’t sit right with you. Maybe they felt similarly. Either way, this gives you the space to explore it together.
• Clarifying goals: If you and your therapist don’t have aligned priorities, this gives you the chance to get back on the same page.
• Giving it a few sessions: Especially early on, it can take time to build trust. If it’s been more than 3–4 sessions and it still doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to explore other options.

At Spring Health, we believe in match quality. That’s why we support switching without guilt, and help you find someone who gets you. Find a new provider easily.