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Starting therapy can feel like stepping into the unknown. Awkwardness, emotions, and discomfort may bubble up. These feelings are pretty universal among clients. Here are 10 things that surprise most first-time therapy clients:
1. You Might Feel Nervous — Everyone Does
If you’re nervous before your first session, you’re in good company. Being vulnerable with a new person is nerve-racking. The good news is therapists have years of experience in working with people coming to therapy for the first time, so they’re highly-attuned to it and can help ease those nerves.
If you’re nervous for a specific reason like you get anxious in new settings or you’re worried about being judged, communicate that with your therapist and they can help guide you through this. From the first session, this can give you a really clear idea of their style and approach.
2. You Don’t Need to Have “Big Trauma”
Therapy isn’t just for rock-bottom moments or huge life events. It’s also for those more persistent, everyday issues like stress, anxiety, sleep issues, substance use, burnout, relationship challenges, or even feeling unfulfilled by life.
While a major traumatic event is often a catalyst for people to get into therapy, it’s not the only reason people start.
3. Big Emotions are Common in Therapy, and Okay
Emotional responses like crying or anger are completely normal. They’re a sign that you’re processing things that are coming up. Strong emotional responses like this can often even feel like a release as you let go of the things that have been weighing on you.
4. You Can Take Breaks
It’s okay to say, “I need to slow down,” or, “I need someone to listen to me first and ask questions later.”
Therapy works best when you go at a pace that works for you. Being honest with your therapist can help you get more out of it. Don’t worry about giving them direction on what you need, they’re experts at navigating this.
5. It Might Feel Awkward at First
New relationships take time and a therapeutic relationship is no different! Even if it feels awkward, that doesn’t mean it’s not working. If your first session feels off, give it a second chance. If after the first few sessions it’s still not any less awkward, that might be a good sign it’s time to change therapists.
6. It’s Not Always Deep
While some sessions may bring tears, others may focus on everyday challenges like sleep, work stress, or how to text your ex back. Building emotional resilience takes time and practice, and working through the smaller moments helps prepare you for the bigger ones.
7. You Don’t Have to Talk About Everything Immediately
Like any relationship, it takes time to build trust. You don’t need to give your full life story and most intimate thoughts in your first session. It may take time to build trust and comfortability, that’s perfectly normal. Always remember: you’re in control of what you share and when you share it.
8. Your Therapist Wants to Help You Find a Good Fit
Your therapist is your cheerleader and coach. They want therapy to help you, it’s why they got into the mental health field in the first place! If it’s not clicking with them, the style isn’t what you’re looking for or your schedule doesn’t match theirs, it’s okay to switch. Therapists won’t take it personally, they’re experts in managing this.
9. You Might Feel Worse Before You Feel Better
You’ve probably heard somewhere that “healing isn’t linear.” There’s a lot of truth to that, because therapy can stir up some temporary discomfort, so you may feel worse before you feel better. It’s all part of the journey. Don’t take it as a sign that therapy isn’t for you or it’s not working.
10. You’ll Start Noticing Small Wins in the Beginning
Whether it’s feeling more comfortable in your body or surroundings, or successfully using the coping skills you’ve developed with your therapist, these small victories don’t take years of therapy.
Therapy is your time to explore and grow in the ways that matter most to you. From learning new coping skills and learning to navigate emotions, each session helps you build resilience and self-awareness.
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About the clinical reviewer
